I, like everyone (I assume), love a good nights sleep yet here I am – is 1.35 in the morning and I am wide awake…blogging about not being able to fall asleep… Yep that makes total sense.
I currently have a thousand thoughts running through my head about today’s worries and tomorrow’s problems. It can wait – no it can’t – yes it can – no, it can’t… it has to be done now! This constant debate running through my head is enough to drive me mad. It’s a wonder I can think of little else. But believe me, these little trains of thoughts just come out of no where and nostalgia kicks in – one minute I am tossing up between going out to pay bills first or go staying at home and making phone calls then BAM I start to wonder how it came to this…
Life was SO much simpler as a child. I only had to worry about one thing – what food to eat when I were hungry. Now it’s split between my personal, professional, school and work life. Talk about multiple personality disorder. I sound like I need a Prozac don’t I? Maybe something stronger I think? Hmmm Zyprexa ought to do it…
As my mind is playing tug-a-wall with itself, trying to prioritise my next few days’ schedule, my body (especially between my shoulder blades) is screaming for some tlc.
“Why don’t you just go to bed and figure all this out tomorrow?” I can hear my body screaming at my grey matter, “I need rest too!”
“Because there are too many things to do tomorrow and not enough hours in a day!!”
“Who’s fault is that?” my conscience creeps in.
“Oh great. Not you-know-who…”
Now I feel the whole weight of the world on my shoulders. Every thought, insecurity, failure, issue, problem, and unanswered question starts rearing its ugly head.
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Why the hell did I drink two coffees today? And why did I go for a run so late at night?
The blame game starts all over again… Great now I’m getting a headache… And look, it’s 2am already… Looks like I won’t make it to the 8am gym session after all.
Where is that Prozac when I need it?! Eventually I close my eyes and wait for darkness to consume me…